Time Tip for September

Firstly, I’d like to thank the subscribers I’ve bumped into during the last month who have thanked me for these Tips.  I appreciate your feedback and it’s always a treat to meet you in person.

I gauge the success of these Tips on the subsequent email I receive.  Judging by the number of replies last month, the message certainly hit a nerve for many. 

Here’s a sample:

So true!! I am one of those who doesn’t know how to slow down, and is not comfortable doing ‘less or nothing’. I say I want to but making it happen is hard – there’s always something that needs doing – and yes I know it will still be there tomorrow.

I am someone who is always on the move and my husband complains that I don’t know how to relax. Due to this I began having sleep problems and my ‘sleep doctor’ gave me ‘permission’ to stop in the evenings to read or just watch TV. Isn’t it amazing that we only seem to slow down when we are told to do so by professionals yet when those near and dear to us tell us to do the same thing, we seem to ignore them!!!

Thanks for this important reminder Marie. So easy to lose sight of in the day to day busy-ness if life. Brought me back to my senses!

Timely words and hugely applicable to me. I’ve been rushing my whole career to ‘make-it’ and have often been at the effect of the Law of Diminishing Returns. As one of my mates used to say: Slow down Jay – and go faster!  Now that I’m 40 I’m finally starting to get it…at least I’m slow at something i.e. learning!

As the second person said “Isn’t it amazing that we only seem to slow down when we are told to do so by professionals” … hmmm, yes, and sometimes we don’t even heed those words!

Here’s a great quote:  “Look after your body … if you don’t, where will you live?”

We tend to forgot that this amazing machine we live in needs more than just food and water to keep it running. It also needs rest, relaxation, fun, sunshine, laughter and down time, just to name a few. 

Given that most of us need to be ‘doing’ something all the time, I leave you with one final thought:  Doing nothing IS an activity!  Enjoy a restful and balance month ahead.

Until next time,  Stay Well.

Laughter as Medicine

You’ve probably heard the phrase “Laughter is the best Medicine”.  You may or may not agree but I’ve learned that it can certainly help take the edge off a stressful or challenging situation.

I once heard an expert say that laughter was ‘aerobics for your insides”.  Think about it, when you have a hearty laugh, you whole belly area up and down, therefore it makes sense that it does indeed ‘massage’ your insides!

There has been much research around the benefits of laughter and how the brain releases ‘happy’ hormones when we are laughing, or even smiling. And those feel-good hormones impact positively on your immune system, bolstering its effectiveness.  Now that’s medicine I’m happy to take, especially given that it usually costs you nothing!

You don’t have to have been through a serious health issue to benefit, you may be stressed about work or anything else at all.  By stopping to have a ‘laughter break’ you’ll be helping your body to brace up and cope with whatever is on your schedule.

After my diagnosis, one friend sent me a DVD full of funny video clips and images and whenever I needed a boost, I’d watch it.  It was one of the best gifts I received during that trying time.

You can also utilise You Tube, simply type in “funny stuff” in the search function and go through what comes up.  You’ll view clips that have been caught by the average person – similar to what you’d see on the “Funniest Home Video” show. Even if all you manage to get is a smile on your face, that’s a great start.

Here’s an example of something that landed in my inbox recently (and very relevant to topic!):

Apple does it again!

Apple Inc.  announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music.
The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size.
This is considered a major social breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

Certainly brought a smile to my face!

Do whatever you must to get a few laughs into your day, find a joke book and share them with co-workers (ensure they are clean or you might get in trouble!); share video clips or funny stories  with those you love.  Share a laugh and watch your mood shift to a more positive one.

Until next week, Stay Well.

Crazy Sexy What?

After receiving the shocking news “you have cancer”, and shared that with my network, I then started to receive a multitude of resources to explore. My inbox was flooded with all manner of suggestions from the latest ‘super foods’; books; websites and alternative medicine practices.  I looked at everything and went with my gut as to what resonated for me to pursue.

One thing that impressed me early on was a kooky sounding website called Crazy Sexy Cancer.  At that point I certainly would not have described what I had in that manner.  However, from the moment I viewed the clip on the website, I knew this gal was someone I should pay attention to.

Kris Carr is an inspiring woman, she took full responsibility for her own health and made radical changes in many areas of her life.  All the while she documented the process – via film and books – and has a great success story to share.

I bought both her books and found them to be a valuable resource.  For me it was an affirmation of what I’d already decided to do in many areas and it was validation that this course of action can be successful.

 These are a great read for anyone who is willing to explore the realm of cancer treatment outside what is the normal ‘prescription’ within the medical system.

 For those of us who choose an alternative route, it is empowering and encouraging to read about those who have succeeded before us.

I trust you will be inspired also.

Until next week, Stay Well.

Time Tip for August

This month is the tenth anniversary since my mother had a stroke at just 57 years of age.  It was quite a shock to us all and whilst she survived, her quality of life and independence were significantly reduced. 

Mum was a very busy lady, raising 5 children (4 surviving), running a household, working and, in later years, even volunteering her time to offer some solace to hospital patients.

A few years after her stroke, as we sat chatting, I asked her two questions: 

1. What do you miss the most?  Response:  My car! She was in her 40’s when she got her licence, and it was her ticket to independence. 
2. Looking over your life, what would you do differently?  Response: Slow Down!  All that rushing about really isn’t necessary or useful.

 We are all so busy, busy, busy these days with little time for us. We rush from one thing to the next, often multi tasking.  All this busy-ness can lead to many negatives: loss of productivity; detrimental effect on our health and less time to enjoy ourselves.

I observe people at business events, and they typically ask each other: “How’s business going, busy?”.  And even in personal enquiry, people often ask “How are you, busy?”.   We’re reinforcing this dilemma for each other!

My very creative friend Yvonne Adele, founder of Ideas Culture, sent me this after seeing one of my presentations:

Business, when broken down is: busi-ness.  The word Business originally applied to a person suspected of taking part in mischievous activity.

The etymology of “business” relates to the state of being busy either as an individual or community as a whole, doing commercially viable and profitable work.

Hmmm, interesting.  But do we now equate being overly busy with being successful, healthy and happy?  Busy isn’t always good!

One thing I’ve learned from years of coaching others: Some people don’t know how to slow down, or be comfortable with doing less or nothing. 

My advice is always the same:  start small, take simple steps and the habit will soon form.  For example listening to/watching something relaxing is a great start. Here’s some relaxing music and images that will help you to slow down.  Runs for 7 minutes but even viewing for one minute will have a calming effect on your body and mind.

So wouldn’t today, right now in fact, be a good time to begin?

Give yourself the gift of slowing down regularly, at least once daily for as little as ten minutes, and you can achieve many valuable long-term benefits.

May you have a S-l-o-w-e-r month ahead so that you can indeed stop and smell the roses.

Until next week, Stay Well.

A little ray of Sunshine helps in a big way!

I’ve come to appreciate the importance of having a healthy level of Vitamin D in my system.

I’d heard many professionals speak of the ‘Vitamin D deficiency epidemic’ from various sources, including Dr. Mehmet Oz on the Oprah show.

However, it wasn’t until I was tested in September 2009 and found mine was at 36, that I was jolted into action.   I was immediately put on supplements to correct this imbalance.  But I also decided to spend time in the sun as often as I could.  I lay in my backyard in swimwear and soaked up the rays for 10 minutes both front and back.

Not only did I develop a lovely golden skin (first time ever as I’m very fair) but the increased energy made me feel fantastic!  I also observed (as did others) that my mood was much brighter too. More importantly, I managed to increase my levels from 36, to 131 (Dec 09) then to 186 (March 09).

If you’d like to know more about the dangers of low vitamin D and how a healthy level is vital to maintain a vibrant body, then read this article by my friend Mark Bunn, entitled:  “The Sun – Avoid It At Your Peril!   A Natural Wisdom Guide to the Importance of Sunlight,
Why Getting ‘Too Little’ Midday Sun Can Be Fatal and a More Holistic View of Skin Cancer”

Once you’ve read the information, you too will have a better idea of why we should enjoy nature’s abundant ball of energy – in a safe and sensible way!

So, my recommendation for this week:  Get your levels checked!

Until next week, Stay Well.

Passive versus Active

One word is key here: Responsibility!  This is our ability to respond to any situation we encounter.

When we’re faced with a challenge, it’s very easy to go into victim mode, be passive and let others take over.  Doing the work can seem like … um, hard work!  However, taking the ‘easy’ route can mean the results aren’t necessarily in our best interest.

Over the years as a coach, I’ve heard many excuses as to why someone’s life wasn’t working out for them. Some people even thought that ‘lady luck’ had turned her back on them.  I believe we make our own luck, with our actions.  You may have heard such quotes as “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity” (Darrell Royal) and “The harder I work, the luckier I get”. 

One of my mentors, Jennifer Elliot, taught me much about taking responsibility from the moment I met her and has been reinforcing that for me ever since.

It began with me taking her online Profile, then getting a Feedback coaching session. WOW- was that ever hard hitting.  At the time, it seemed like the most brutal conversation I’d ever had!  Initially I felt deflated but quite quickly, with introspection and contemplation, I realised that she was absolutely right. 

After all, if I was willing to own that all the positive results on the profile, I had to own the negatives, right?  I committed to improve my “Responsibility” score and steadily took accountability for my actions.  Over a time I started to witness different successes in my life, initially small, but just like building a muscle I soon saw greater rewards.

I believe that single decision and subsequent action steps enabled me to handle the challenge of breast cancer with greater resolve and strength.

I was so taken by the power of his Profiling tool that I became accredited in its use and have been utilising it with my coaching clients ever since.  The greatest gift it gives both me and the client is that the results cut through any ‘mask’ the client might have initially presented with.  Going through the debrief session alone is a huge ‘wake up’ call for most.  It also means that, for those willing to take responsibility for their actions, fewer coaching sessions are required to achieve results.

Not everyone wants to go through the Profiling tool and debrief session, but here’s how you can start to increase your own level of responsibility starting today.  Whenever a challenge arises, big or small, take some time to step back, reflect and answer the questions below: 

• “Where have I contributed to this situation?” (Acknowledge without blame or negativity, simply observe your answers)
•  “What action can I take here?” (Even the smallest of steps can lead to powerful results)
• “How can I stop this happening again?” (This is where you trust your intuitive answers)
• “Who can I approach for assistance here?” (You don’t have to do it alone, but you are to remain in charge for yourself)

Taking full responsibility for your life can seem like a daunting thing to do, but I can promise that when you do, you will feel far more in control and satisfied with the results.

Until next week, stay well.

How big is your WHY?

I’d love a dollar for every time someone has asked me “What’s the number one thing you did in achieving the mindset you have, in order to handle such a challenge?” 

And I wish it was just one thing because that would be easy to explain and teach others to do for themselves.  There are a number of things that create that ‘winning’ mindset, whether it’s a sports person aiming for gold or an individual, like myself, who’s been given life-altering news. 

Over the coming posts I will share with you what it is that has helped me through this journey, and in fact, throughout many other challenges in my life.

But if I had to start with just one, and I shall, then it would be this:

 How big is your reason for wanting change?  Or as the heading above reads “How big is your WHY?”.

If the reasons (or why) aren’t important, scary or motivating enough then you simply will not take action.  Burying one’s head in the sand will not change one single thing surrounding a challenge, other than perhaps make it worse!

I met with a coaching client earlier this year and we spoke at length around a health issue she’d been working through (it had already been some years, and many dollars on treatments, later). She asked for, and I gave her, some suggestions on ways she could move forward based on my research and experience. 

She thanked me profusely and left saying she’d get onto it.  A few days later I received an email from her saying, in essence, that she ‘didn’t have my strength or commitment at this time’ and would continue as she had been.

Unless we can see the BENEFITS of making change and are WILLING to take the necessary ACTION, then absolutely nothing will change.

For me it was extremely obvious: change what I was doing (with a holistic approach) – or die!  It can’t really get any clearer than that … or more motivating!

So here’s your challenge, if you are up to it:

• Think about something you’ve wanted to change/improve in your life (any area at all) e.g. “create and sustain optimum health”
• Write down your top 5 values in life (e.g. for me they are: Health; Freedom; Relationships; Wealth and Travel)
• Then write down the answers to this question:  How will my achieving this goal positively impact on each of these values?
• Write at least 20 (yes that’s twenty) benefits for EACH value you hold dear

 This exercise isn’t necessarily easy to do, coming  up with 100 benefits can take time and really stretch you.  But once you’re done, and look over the list regularly, you should have a greater motivation level for achieving your goal.

Have fun with this process and I’d love to hear your feedback on how you went! Send me an email:  marie@timeforyou.com.au 

Until next week, Stay Well!

Time Tip for July

Over the years of coaching people, whenever I’ve asked “What’s one trait you’d like more of?” invariably one of the top answers has been “Confidence”.  It gives you a belief in yourself and your abilities and engenders trust from others around you.

Recently I attended a workshop with David King of Vue Consulting and he gave a recipe for increasing confidence in any area of life.  With his permission, here is the ‘Triple C’ formula:

C = Commitment: make the decision that you will commit to growing in confidence.  It’s not about wishing or trying but taking action!

C = Courage: be brave enough to do what it takes, one step at a time. Fake it till you make it, it will scare you at first but each time you dare to act you will have more faith in your ability.

C = Confidence:  once you have taken steps one and two, consistently, you will have developed more confidence in that area.

Of course, this won’t happen overnight and depending on what you’re striving to master it will take more or less time.  But I have learned in my life that when I’ve used the above formula (wasn’t aware I was using it!) it has indeed produced great results.

Wishing you a month of learning and growing in confidence.

Moving Forward

I have finally reached a point with this Blog where I have recounted the ‘historic’ facts about my journey. 

Admittedly, this has taken far more energy than I had at first envisioned.  When I decided to write my story I hadn’t fully comprehended that I would be reliving it, and the accompanying emotions, all over again.  This has been at times challenging and painful but now that I’m done, I appreciate that it’s been a very worthwhile and cathartic experience indeed.

From here on in my intention is to Blog weekly, writing about resources and strategies that I have used, and continue to use, that have helped me.

I trust that they will be informative, useful and valuable to you also.

Time Tip for June

Are you Willing?

Goal setting is an interesting activity and not everyone practices it.  Without goals, we can drift along life’s river and be disappointed with the end destination.  As a coach I’ve helped many clients over the years achieve their set goals.  Something that’s been rewarding for both they and me.

But those who fail have one thing in common, I believe : The aren’t willing to do what it takes to achieve success.

We know what we can do and often what we have to do in order to succeed.  But it seems that the willingness to do what it takes can be elusive.

Why?  Because it takes effort and deep down the goal is obviously not important enough to propel and motivate them.

For example, recently I said to my hairdresser “2010 is a year of many changes for me, therefore I think it’s time I grow my hair”.  She got very excited and started instructing me on how to achieve this, including how to manage the painful ‘growing out’ stages of bad hair days.  That was enough for me and I said “keep cutting please”. I realised in that moment that I liked the idea of long hair but wasn’t willing to commit to the actions.

Think about a goal you’ve been struggling with, and ask yourself the questions:

**  How important is it that I achieve this?

**  How will it benefit my life (and others)?

**  What am I willing to do to get it?

If the answer to the last question is ‘nothing’ or ‘little’ then drop it off your list and move onto something more worthwhile that inspires you!

The exhilaration of achieving an outcome is tremendous; who you become in that process is even more powerful and important to your life.

I have a project I’ve scheduled to complete by end of this month – I’ll announce it by next newsletter time! Keeping myself accountable here. 

Have a marvellous month ahead – may you achieve all you set out to do!